Ok, I don’t know which one of you it is, but I have been stealing your WiFi for the last couple of months, and I would like to say that I think it’s very selfish and unneighborly for you have secured your router. That hurts!

I was almost finished watching the season finale of Game of Thrones, and just as it was starting to get good, BAM! No connection? I refreshed my available connections and I see, SECURE? That’s rude! I had to go to Walgreens, and buy one of those 300-foot phone cords just to finish my night. Fortunately, I had my uncle’s AOL password.

Do you know how much it sucks to download for 37 mins only to view a 1 minute and 37-second video? IT SUCKS! IT SUCKS BIG TIME! And now, how is my son going to go to Now I have to entertain his little ass all day! YOU REALLY SUCK!

I thought that the blower was the end of being neighborly, you know after you cut your grass and simply blow your shit all over your neighbor’s yard, and then he cuts his grass and blows your shit and his shit into his neighbor’s yard and finally the poor bastard who doesn’t have a blower has to pick up the entire neighborhood’s shit! Well, this tops that! If you’re going to have a wireless router, secure it from the start!

Thanks for nothing,
Your Neighbor

P.S. Do you think I could hook a splitter up to your cable?